Tiffanie Amber

I did it... Oddly enough! Honestly though, I wouldn't have been able to graduate without everyone in my life telling me I could do it. I remember when I decided to leave Oswego, I was talking to my best friends and they kept telling me if I didn't graduate on time it would be okay, my being happy was what was most important. Then I came home and decided I would figure out school along the way. I did. I transferred to a school where the professors helped me out throughout the whole process and I made friends of a lifetime. The morning of the ceremony, two of my best friends had messaged me and I couldn't help but feel accomplished of myself. They expressed how proud they were of my accomplishment. Now is the hard part. I thought I'd at least have my life together and everything. But I don't... I also am beginning to realize how unhappy I am... I want to focus on myself now that I'm not in school... I'm going to do whatever I want... I...

Here we go, after 4 long years, I'm in my final week of finals. Transferring schools has been one of the trickiest/best decisions of my life... Of course I miss everyone from Oswego, but I became so focused on my end goal, graduation. Just last week I found out I'm graduating with honors from my program, which you obtain with a GPA over 3.25 from my department and an overall 3.0 GPA from the college itself. As of today, I have well above each of those requirements. The big difference is, when I was in Oswego I didn't know if I'd be able to meet the GPA requirements for my upper-division courses, I was that undetermined. But when I transferred, I met professors that were there to make sure I thrived! They also are the main reasons for why I'm graduating the exact same time I would have before I transferred. While I've only been at Buff State for three semester, I've met the most amazing people and made the most amazing memories. I cannot wait for ...

I'm a huge YouTube nerd. I watch it way more than TV. This started when I was in 7th grade and got my first iPod. I'll never forget the first person I subscribed to... It was Shane Dawson. I'll never forget the first video I watched which was his parody of 3oh!3's "Don't trust" and I died laughing and every time I watched the video I got a sense of relief. Over the middle school years I subscribed to many people and lost email passwords so I had to resubscribe... I'm pretty sure I'm 12 of Shane's how many subscribers. Over high school and college, I stopped watching YouTube. It wasn't until my sophomore year of college that I started watching it religiously. Getting trapped on the website for hours. Between ASMR, Beauty Guru's, Vloggers and most of all Shane Dawson. I would watch his videos and laugh so much. I loved watching his vlogs, to me he was the first vlogger I watched and I loved watching everything, from his family to ...

I've been sitting back lately, watching all these people get excited for multiple steps in their lives. Graduation is less than 40 days away, practically a month. I can't help but not get excited lately. Maybe that's a misstep in my life... I tend not to get excited for something in the future, in case it doesn't end up working out.. Within the past year I maybe worked myself up for one major occurrence and it fell through and broke me in a way... I figure, I never want to feel that way again. I miss feeling excited for something. I miss the anticipation building up from within you. If I'm being completely honest in these blogs, which I feel like I have been... In October of 2017, I reached my lowest point in life. I told everyone important in my life that I didn't want to be here anymore. I was on constant watch and it got better, I have gotten better. Lately, with looking and seeing everyone's excitement of things like  graduation, a movie being ...

Yesterday being National Pets Day, I obviously spent my time with my pets.. But it made me think back to everything that they truely have helped me with. I get migraines constantly, it's been a battle for many years. Yesterday, I got a couple and every time my head began to ache, Rylie would be right by my side, giving me kisses and getting my head away from thinking of the pain. While I've had animals in the past, I can't help but look at my two goobers I have right now.  I was 11 when we got Baylie, we went to look at puppies, I sat down and she came and curled up in my lap. From that moment I knew we had to have her and the memories are neverending. From when she was a puppy and was incredibly sick, I remember crying my eyes out saying we had to make her better. She had her surgeries and is turning 11 next month. As a puppy she hated heights, she'd bark at the steps instead of walking down them (still to this day she hesitates getting o...

With my final spring break looming around the corner, I've come to realize how many lasts there are.  I straightened my hair. I put on makeup and my dress clothes this past Wednesday. I walked around campus with confidence. It was my final presentation. Not final as in finals. But final as in the last presentation that I'll be giving as a college student.  *I have to present my research paper to the board in May but I'm not counting that (haha) It's been hitting me more and more lately. But it wasn't until Wednesday when I was walking up to the library and looked around that it truly hit me. In less than 60 days, this is all over with.  I'll no longer be a competing student, I'll be a competing employee.  I chose to study PR when I was a freshman in college after taking a quiz and being in awe of Olivia Pope from Scandal. Ever since then, I've been so unsure about how I'd be in the field besides the fact that I love it.  During...

These past couple weeks have been eye opening. My cousin/godfather has been in the ICU twice in the past two weeks, with no known reason with what's wrong. The outcome isn't the best news but it isn't the worst either. He's going to be okay right now and that's what matters, This brings me back to four years ago when his dad, my uncle, was sick. Slowly losing every part of him that I had grown up knowing. He was forgetting everything. Once he began the forgetting process, I made the naive decision of not seeing him that way. To try and remember him for who he was while I was little. Looking back on this, I see that as a dumb teenage way out. When the doctors gave him a certain number of weeks left, my family went to visit him while I had to work. I kick myself by feeling like I should have called off that day, it would have been okay to miss that one day of work. But, I was 18 and stupid and there's no going back. I have my memories of him and those are wh...